My hairdresser said to me yesterday "Your ex husband so different from you !
Laughing, " I replied ' Well that's why he's my EX-husband ;-)"
Later a lawyer chatted to me about possible ways that some coaching might move on an impasse with two of her client's divorce proceedings.
Apparently, her client, the soon to be exhusband, is committed to the divorce, prepared to be reasonable, and has made plenty of offers, but is reaching the end of available territory to negotiate.
But the soon to be exwife, is just not prepared to shift. Standing firm, she steadfastly refuses to change her position
With legal costs for just one meeting sometimes amounting to £2000, and the whole process dragging on for over two years, this couple have a lot of joint assets flowing out of the pot.
As a coach, my role is to stay neutral, and keep emotion out of the frame.
As the lawyer suggested that coaching might help the other party understand that she needed to change to get a result. My thoughts wondered, who would be most likely to change ?
How can we effect change in someone who doesn't want to change ?
Because she always does, what she's always done, she's always get what she's always got, and so does he
The will be no change, they will, and have both been behaving just as they always have done
To gain a change in the dynamic of this relationship, then one party needs to subtly change, do, and behave slightly differently, in a non habitual way, and this will change the entire dynamic
Comments